Day 4. Choose the Right Amount of Doing
Why are we doing all the holiday stuff? For fun, celebration, quality time with people we care about, to share in something meaningful? And does it feel that way when we are overextended and exhausted? Not usually. While it’s wonderful to be engaged in the festive season, the choice to not push past our limits is a worthy undertaking. It’s worth asking, “Am I doing more than I can do in a relaxed way? Is this actually fun? Is it worth getting run down?” If, for you, there is a tipping point beyond which doing more means enjoying less, it pays to be deliberate about which events will be most fulfilling and to be realistic about how many gatherings we can have on our plate without getting depleted.
I happen to have a December birthday as well (12/23). Add that to the holiday mix and it can quickly careen past the tipping point, leaving me overextended with no time to restore. Case in point: some years back and for two consecutive years, after multiple pre-holiday events I spent the Christmas seasons sick in bed with a head-cold-gone-respiratory-infection, unable to hear people, taste food, or enjoy myself. Two years in a row– ouch! After that, I resolved to not push myself to do everything. My gauge is pleasure. I try only to do as much as I enjoy. If I’m sighing and trying to “rally” for an event, that’s a cue that it’s time to dial it back and consider my priorities. It’s good self-care to discern and say “No thanks, my plate is full” when we need to. Despite our concerns about disappointing others or missing out, we do not need to do every single thing.
Less is More
So often, less is more. And in this case, the “more” is qualitative– more being, ease, joy, and presence. Again, a worthy undertaking.
